Posts
By Denise Boggs
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” (Proverbs 3:5).
If you have experienced a traumatic brain injury (TBI) do you wonder who you can trust? You can stop wondering today. You will find strength and hope for your recovery if you trust in God. After all, things that are impossible for man are possible with God.
“For with God nothing is ever impossible…” (Luke 1:37).
He created your body, so you can trust Him as He works in your body to bring about the best recovery possible. There is a battle that everyone struggles with in their thoughts, the battle between fear and faith. Fear is the greatest opposition to faith because it will not allow you to trust God; like oil and vinegar, they do not mix. During our son’s TBI recovery, the greatest battle was in the mind “fear against faith.” Do we believe what we see, or do we believe God, the One who we can’t see.
Fear sounds like this: “What if I don’t recover?” “What if I don’t walk again?” “What if my friends don’t stick with me?” Any one of all of these situations could happen, and that is why we turn our life over to God and trust Him. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. If you trust in Him, then you can be okay with whatever the outcome is in your recovery because He works all things together for good.
Faith is personal, and each person has a measure of it. As you hear God’s Word and believe His Word is truth, your measure of faith will increase. Each person uses the measure of faith they have been given everyday. If you didn’t have faith you wouldn’t sit down in a chair. When you do sit down, you are exercising your faith that the chair will hold you up. When you go to the doctor, you are exercising faith that the doctor will be observant to your condition. You have faith in a certain make of a car, you believe that the quality of the car is good and will hold together as you drive down the road.
A chair, a doctor, and a car are all visible; you must exercise faith in them to benefit from them. Now, what about faith in something invisible? Gravity for instance is invisible, but you have faith that it is there and will hold you on the ground. The air you breath is also invisible, you can’t see it, but you have faith it is there. When you step outside your house, you exercise your faith by trusting that the air is safe to breathe. As we read about God and His great love for us, our faith in Him will increase. Exercising faith in God will actually increase your faith. Your faith does not increase each time you sit in the chair, or drive a car or even go to a doctor. Your measure of faith increases as you trust God, the One whom you can’t see that is working on your behalf. He can take care of you, your health, your family, and all that you are concerned with. All you have to do is step outside of what you see and trust Him, who you can’t see.
Written by Denise Boggs
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Grieving Whirlwind
Eighteen days after my eleventh birthday I found myself locked in a teacher's lounge playing solitaire and losing. My father had died of a sudden heart attack that morning and the school staff had no idea what to do with me. As I sat in the usually coveted high-backed rolling chair I began my grieving process. When an unusual tragedy occurs, most people are not prepared to deal with those who are affected. My school was not prepared to handle a grieving fifth-grader, so they stuffed me in the back room. Unfortunately, this is not a new story. People's lives are drastically altered in a matter of moments, yet it takes some the rest of their lives to adjust to the changes.
When someone is thrown unexpectedly into a whirlwind of grief and loss, it is important to give them a obvious road to follow towards recovery. The road of grief is easy to explain, but hard to follow. A wounded person cannot go far alone, other people are necessary at this stage. As soon as the road becomes "too long" or "too hard", the wounded individual will begin to look for shortcuts. Shortcuts are extremely dangerous because when you take a detour on a road you do not know, it is incredibly difficult to find your way back. This is where most people get stuck or become destructive. True friends, who will walk the road with you, are vital.
As Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, " If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" When I was sitting in that dimly lit back room at my old school, I wished I wasn't alone. My eyes would dart to the door knob every time the walls creaked, my heart longed for a true friend. If you have experienced this whirlwind and are feeling lost or broken, find a true friend who will walk this harsh road with you and pick you up when you fall. Sometimes, there is no human whom you can trust. If you find yourself in this position, know that you are not alone and recovery is still possible. As Psalms 46:1 says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." If you cannot find a true friend, cry out to God and He will be your everything. He sees your pain and you do not have to feel this way for the rest of your life. Don't give up on this journey to freedom. God is always with us, and he will not leave or stuff you in a back room. You are not forgotten.
Written by Molly Frazier, Editor and Outreach Intern
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
Grieving Losses - TBI Tip Card
Grieving is a deep sadness that we try to
avoid. It is the anguish in your heart that
words can’t touch or describe. I know from
experience that grieving is necessary and
must be embraced when there has been a
loss in your life. If you are a TBI survivor you
may have experienced losses that must be
grieved.
• Family members should realize the TBI
survivor might not be the same person as
they were before the injury. The family
needs to love and accept him/her so they
can begin to accept their new life with
changes.
• In the case of a TBI, the entire family has
been affected; they should support and
make allowances for each other as they
recover.
• Grieving the losses is essential in order to
be able to accept and celebrate the new
way of life.
The Twenty-Third Psalm
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou
art with me… (Psalms 23:4).
• Grieving losses is the most important part
of emotional healing after a traumatic
brain injury.
• Grieving is not a sign of weakness, it is an
essential part of emotional healing.
• Grieving should not be done alone, ev-
eryone needs comfort from someone who
understands and cares.
• If you feel sadness over your losses you
are grieving.
• Don’t try to stop it, call a friend, a family
member, or a pastor and ask them if you
can share some of the sad feelings about
your loss.
Living Waters Ministry 1-828-632-3906
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
avoid. It is the anguish in your heart that
words can’t touch or describe. I know from
experience that grieving is necessary and
must be embraced when there has been a
loss in your life. If you are a TBI survivor you
may have experienced losses that must be
grieved.
• Family members should realize the TBI
survivor might not be the same person as
they were before the injury. The family
needs to love and accept him/her so they
can begin to accept their new life with
changes.
• In the case of a TBI, the entire family has
been affected; they should support and
make allowances for each other as they
recover.
• Grieving the losses is essential in order to
be able to accept and celebrate the new
way of life.
The Twenty-Third Psalm
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou
art with me… (Psalms 23:4).
• Grieving losses is the most important part
of emotional healing after a traumatic
brain injury.
• Grieving is not a sign of weakness, it is an
essential part of emotional healing.
• Grieving should not be done alone, ev-
eryone needs comfort from someone who
understands and cares.
• If you feel sadness over your losses you
are grieving.
• Don’t try to stop it, call a friend, a family
member, or a pastor and ask them if you
can share some of the sad feelings about
your loss.
Living Waters Ministry 1-828-632-3906
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
Grieving
Grieving is a deep sadness that we try to avoid. It is an anguish in your heart that words can’t touch or describe. I know from experience that grieving is necessary and must be embraced when there has been a loss in your life. This could be a loss of anything that you loved and cherished such as a child or spouse. In my case, it was the loss of someone and the way he once was. Grieving is a time when you face the pain and sorrow of what you have lost. This pain you feel after a loss is real; you feel it day after day as it lingers like a throbbing toothache. Will it ever end? The answer is yes, it will subside as you grieve what you have lost.
During the time when our son was in a coma after a horrible car accident, I would take a few hours to sleep only to wake up hoping it was all just a bad dream. Then I would fully awake to find it was real, we had been hit by a semi truck, and yes,our son was lying there in a coma. At that point I was flooded with emotions. I felt an overwhelming sadness, even though I didn’t know at the time, what I had lost. As he came out of the coma I began to grieve as I realized the happy,carefree, young boy; my first born son, was not there. His body was there, bu this personality and wit were just not present. He left with us that day in March,2005 on a trip to Nana and Papa's and never returned. Now I had a brand new son, a different son, one I would love and embrace more and more. However, I had to grieve and release the first born son I lost March 26, 2005.
Grieving is not a sign of weakness, it is an essential part of emotional healing. Grieving should not be done alone, everyone needs comfort from someone who understands and cares. As you read this, your pain may be touched. You may feel overwhelmed right now from the sadness of your own loss. If you feel these emotions, then you are grieving. Don’t try to stop it, call a friend, a family member, or a pastor and ask them if you can share how you are feeling. I called “The Comforter”, the one who was ever present with me during those sad days, the Holy Spirit of God never left my side. He is there for you too, and you can call on Him right now. He is very present in a time of trouble. When you call on Him and tell Him how you feel, He listens, and understands.
As I read the Twenty-third Psalm in the Bible, I was assured everyday that God was with me to comfort me as I walked through this valley of the shadow of death. I had never suffered a loss like this before, and I needed the Holy Spirit to be with me, to hold me up, and sustain me each day. When the doctors gave shocking reports, I did not give in to fear because God was with me. He never left me, His presence and comfort were there like a warm blanket on a cold night. He covered me as I walked through the shadows of death into the light of each new day and the life of a brand new son, who is a gift from God.
“Yea,though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me” (Psalms 23:4).
Written by Denise Boggs, mother of TBI survivor
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
Restoring Trust in Relationships
Restoring Trust in Relationships
When you trust someone in a relationship you feel free to share your real self with them. You can hold your heart open to them and let them see who you really are, your strengths and weaknesses. The ability to trust others is directly connected with emotional maturity. Emotional maturity takes place in different stages, like passing through a different season of life. If a person has not successfully gone through a season or stage of emotional maturity, they will have a hard time being real. They won’t feel secure enough to share their real self for fear they will not be accepted.
I see this as a major problem for someone who has suffered a TBI. We have found that emotional recovery unlocks and awakens the spirit of one who is slumbering due to a TBI. Emotional maturity takes place as one develops the ability to give and receive in relationships. Emotional development takes place in five different stages from birth to adulthood. After a traumatic event, emotional development is a massive part of the overall recovery process. Many times the survivor must go back through each stage of development, regardless of their age.
Family members of a TBI survivor need to understand all five stages of emotional development so they can effectively assist and facilitate this process. Without proper understanding, emotional recovery can be delayed or even shut down. This causes the one who has the injury to become stuck in the process of developing. A person can remain stuck in a stage and never progress into the full maturity of their emotions. This is can be devastating for the one who has an injury, as well as their family members because everyone suffers.
Emotional Development
The first, and most important stage of emotional development is the ability to trust. This stage is called “basic trust.” Basic trust is the foundation upon which all other stages of emotional development are built. Basic trust is the ability to receive from others, especially their expressions of love. A person can’t love others or have meaningful relationships until they learn how to receive love.
This ability of learning how to trust and receive love should be accomplished during the first two years of life. This first stage of emotional development is successfully accomplished through parental nurturing. However, if a person did not grow up in a nurturing environment, they may not complete this stage until later in life.
The Bible says in Ephesians 6:4, that a father has a huge role in this stage of development.
"Father’s bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
In this verse, the phrase “to bring up” literally means, “to nourish or nurture tenderly.” God gives children a personal spirit at conception. A child’s spirit is open and trusting until their spirit gets wounded or crushed from neglect or abuse. Parents, especially the father, are called by God to nourish a child’s spirit and draw it to life. Nurturing is essential for a child to grow up feeling secure.
Nurturing requires a parent to be present and a functional a part of their child’s life. A baby that is fed and diapered, but not held, can actually die from lack of nurturing because their spirit shuts down.
In a healthy home, where a child is lovingly cared for by both parents, the child learns how to bond and receive love from parents naturally. When bonding has taken place between parent and child, the child will feel secure. In a healthy home environment, the child matures emotionally as they mature physically. As the foundation of basic trust is developed with parents, it gives the child the ability to connect with others outside the home without fear. In a healthy home, after the first stage of basic trust has been completed, the child will move on to the next stage. Since they feel loved and secure in family relationships, they will start progressing into a healthy independence from their parents.
TBI - Emotional Recovery
If your child or teen has experienced a traumatic brain injury, (TBI), you may be aware that they struggle with emotions. Emotional recovery is very important and should not be overlooked. There are five levels of emotional development. In some cases, people with a TBI will go back to the very first level; starting all over again in their emotional development. The ability to connect emotionally with a healthy relationship is the goal of emotional recovery.
When our son was fifteen, he suffered a TBI. We were not really sure what to expect as he came out of a forty-day coma. He began to awake only to discover he was, in a sense, a “six foot infant.” He had to start all over, like a new born, slowly learning how to do everything.
Stage One of emotional development is the ability to receive love. For a child or teenager with a TBI, it is vitally important for both parents and siblings to be present during this stage. They should be interactive so their child’s spirit is awakened through nurturing. Physical touch such as holding them for extended periods of time daily is most affective. In our son’s recovery, it was very obvious that physical touch activated the blood flow and drew his spirit to life. If holding your child is not possible, holding their hand, rubbing their arms and legs, kissing their forehead or cheek can be affective. In our son’s case, the right side of his brain was injured. While he was in the coma, we gently rubbed his head on the right side to activate more blood flow, which proved to be very effective as he regained more and more movement in his left side. We could actually see the difference in alertness after his cheek was kissed and gently rubbed.
The lack of nurture in early stages of recovery:
• Causes the spirit to remain in a slumber.
• Causes the child or teen to feel unloved, therefore they do not feel secure and may require constant re-assurance of love later on in life.
• Causes emotional growth and development to be stunted.
• Creates a void in the foundation stage of emotional development. If the foundation has a void, like something is missing.
Stage Two of Emotional Development
Stage two of emotional development is “Independence.” Each child or teen is uniquely created by God as an individual. During the second stage of emotional development, a child will begin to explore their independence. We as a family observed that as our son felt secure and loved he progress quickly into this stage. He wanted to venture out in his own uniqueness. During this stage, a child or teen will test his parents’ love with acts of independence, for emotional development purposes these acts of independence need to be handled correctly. For instance: temper tantrums should be handled the same as they as with a two years old who pitches a fit.
The parents must be careful to correct their child without crushing his or her spirit. Proper discipline is very important at this stage. A child needs to experience unconditional love, even if they are disobedient and they still receive love. During this stage, a child will test their parent’s love in many ways. One way is by expressing their own desires, which are different from their parent's desires. They need to feel secure enough in their parent's love to say “No” without the fear of being cut off, shut down, or rejected.
Parents must allow their child opportunities to say “No” when it is appropriate in order to express their independence. Parents should give their children choices so they can learn to determine what they like or don’t like and feel the freedom to exercise choice. This continues to build trust in the parent/child relationship and prepares them to say “No” in adulthood. In adulthood, a person who has not learned how to say “No” can very easily be controlled and even abused by others.
Many times parents want their child to be just like them, but God created each child as a unique individual. Children need to have a loving and safe environment to discover who God created them to be. As they discover that they are unique, they need to feel that it is all right to be different from their parents. This is also true in the recovery process, there is a time that the survivor begins to realize and embrace the reality that they are different from who they were before. They must be supported to embrace their new self and be assisted as they learn to say, “Yes, this is what I believe and what I choose” or, “No, this not me.” The new preferences should be encouraged.
Our son Will loved to ride horses and wear western jeans and shirts before our car accident. However, as his uniqueness was being developed after the accident, he didn’t want anything to do with western wear and our family had to accept the new him. We allowed him the choice and when he said no we respected this new choice. This was especially hard for my husband because he and Will road horses together and now his new son didn’t like horses at all.
The role of a parent in this stage of a child’s development is to:
➢ Affirm who they are and their differences
➢ Allow the child to make choices with safe boundaries
➢ Provide accountability to stay within boundaries
➢ Set and encourage attainable goals
➢ Carry out appropriate disciplinary consequences when behavior is unacceptable (see Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs13: l, Proverbs19:18)
➢ Encourage unique gifting, abilities, and interests
Now, if you are the caregiver of one who has suffered a TBI, go back over the role of a parent and recognize that this is also your role as a caregiver. A caregiver that does not take this role, to monitor and encourage emotional development, will see the effects in years to come. The brain can be re-trained, just as a child is trained in right from wrong. A child that is not taught right from wrong and how to choose what is right will become rebellious and will not respect authority. A TBI survivor that has not been taught how to make the right choices will flounder in life. They will also have a greater chance of getting into trouble and rebelling against authority later on as they get older. They may try to gain independence in the wrong ways by finding fault with the family as a reason to separate and individuate from them. The right way to gain independence is to have a solid and secure foundation, knowing one is loved and accepted and therefore a strong self-worth regardless of disabilities.
Written by Denise Boggs
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
A Safe Place for Recovery Tip Card
Safe places are a vital part of emotional health and healing for someone who has suffered from a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Having a safe person to talk to and a safe place to rest are so important, that people frequently end their life over the lack of one. Everyone has a need to feel loved and accepted regardless of their differences. They need to know someone really cares about them and their feelings. Many people suffer silently because they don’t have anyone who they can share their feelings of sadness with. God loves us, and His love for us is healing. It hurts Him terribly to see us suffer. If you are a TBI survivor we want to help you find a safe place for your recovery. The following are some guidelines when choosing a place to work through the pain you have suffered.
A Safe Place is:
• A place where there are safe people
• A place where unconditional love is given
• A place where your feelings are respected
• A place that accepts your uniqueness
• A place where safe people help you learn new ways to work though painful situations
• A place where your emotions are allowed to be expressed
Safe places are comprised of safe people who can be trusted. A safe person is one who has God’s love in them and His love flows out of them to others. People who know they are loved are safe because they are able to love others.
Finding people you can trust is extremely important during the recovery of from a TBI. After a major life-altering event, you need to have a safe place you can take refuge in. It is at the heart of God for you to have a place where you can find rest for your soul. “God is our refuge and our comfort, a very present help in time of trouble” Psalms 46:1
To Create a Safe Place:
• Create a safe place by asking God for His love to flow in your family. Lay aside all grievances and love one another. Without loving support, the recovery process will be much more difficult.
• God’s love is an unconditional love that creates a “safe place” which maximizes the recovery possibilities.
• The loving family will celebrate and accept the TBI survivor as the person they are now, and not pressure them to return to who they once were.
• Comfort should be the focus. Take time to listen to the feelings that the TBI survivor is expressing. When the family listens, the survivor will know they are loved and included as a significant part of the family.
Loving a TBI survivor with God’s love will greatly enhanced their recovery. God’s love is perfect, it will remove all fear (I John 4:18). God love flows continually, His love covers mistakes, His love never gives up or fails, His love heals, and His love restores. As we give God’s unconditional love to others they are at peace and rest.
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
A Safe Place is:
• A place where there are safe people
• A place where unconditional love is given
• A place where your feelings are respected
• A place that accepts your uniqueness
• A place where safe people help you learn new ways to work though painful situations
• A place where your emotions are allowed to be expressed
Safe places are comprised of safe people who can be trusted. A safe person is one who has God’s love in them and His love flows out of them to others. People who know they are loved are safe because they are able to love others.
Finding people you can trust is extremely important during the recovery of from a TBI. After a major life-altering event, you need to have a safe place you can take refuge in. It is at the heart of God for you to have a place where you can find rest for your soul. “God is our refuge and our comfort, a very present help in time of trouble” Psalms 46:1
To Create a Safe Place:
• Create a safe place by asking God for His love to flow in your family. Lay aside all grievances and love one another. Without loving support, the recovery process will be much more difficult.
• God’s love is an unconditional love that creates a “safe place” which maximizes the recovery possibilities.
• The loving family will celebrate and accept the TBI survivor as the person they are now, and not pressure them to return to who they once were.
• Comfort should be the focus. Take time to listen to the feelings that the TBI survivor is expressing. When the family listens, the survivor will know they are loved and included as a significant part of the family.
Loving a TBI survivor with God’s love will greatly enhanced their recovery. God’s love is perfect, it will remove all fear (I John 4:18). God love flows continually, His love covers mistakes, His love never gives up or fails, His love heals, and His love restores. As we give God’s unconditional love to others they are at peace and rest.
Living Waters Ministry
www.LivingWatersMinistry.com
www.TBIhope.com
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Love Never Fails
I would like to introduce a principle that we call: “Love Never Fails.” This principle has been tested for decades and has proven to be successful in our own son’s life. Our son, William, sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) four years ago. As a result, he has been suffering with a “disease” called “Fear of Rejection.” Rejection causes a person to have a disease or dis-ease about him or herself. They fear rejection because they are not at ease with who they are. William was very confident in who he was prior to his accident, but unsure of himself after he suffered a TBI.
We knew the principle worked as we watched our son come back to life in response to our family’s love. We have rallied around him as a family throughout his recovery, each person doing their part. Just as a newborn needs complete family interaction for development, our son needed every family member to be a part of his recovery. He would respond to his grandma and grandpa in ways he did not respond to my husband and I. Each person stimulated him in a different way. The love that we were giving him was unconditional, but it could not touch the area of peer rejection. His fear of rejection was not with family members, it was in regards to his age group. So, the next level of recovery unfolded as new relationships were developed that set him free from the fear of rejection.
I watched as the freedom took place, and it was amazing! One day I asked him if he felt different. He said he felt so different after three new friends came into his life, that he would rate their impact as high as that of his favorite therapist who taught him to walk again.
We have watched the power of love, God’s kind of love, and I believe it can have a dramatic affect on any person, regardless of their condition. Everyone, TBI or not, needs to know somebody cares about them. This is a biblical principle found in 1 Corinthians 13:8, “Love never fails.” If God says, “Love never fails”, then we can count on it. God is love, and when you plug into Him, the light will come on. This powerful principle will work in any situation, age bracket, or gender because of the power of God that is behind it. The results may vary, but the outcome is always positive. Our son, William, is a success story and a perfect example of an incredible change that can take place in just a few short weeks.
It takes unconditional love to heal the heart of someone who has felt the pain of rejection because they are different, or they have disabilities. The fear of rejection is a lingering effect and indicates that the pain from the very first time rejection occurred is still felt. Fear of rejection is one of the greatest fears a TBI survivor struggles with. Unconditional love is the only love that will break through and set them free of this paralyzing fear.
William, now 19, sustained a TBI after our car was T-boned by an 18-wheeler in March of 2005. He returned back to school in the fall of that year with the expectation that his school friends would be excited to see him, and would celebrate the accomplishment that he could walk back into class again. After all, a Semi truck traveling 65 miles per hour hit him and, thanks to God, he lived! However, instead of celebrating, they stared, mocked, laughed, and ridiculed him. Some of his previous friends tripped him just to laugh when he fell, mocked him when he could not talk normally, and worst of all, they would wheel out of the school parking lot on Friday afternoons heading for a get-together that he was not invited to.
In the animal kingdom, a chicken that is weak and disabled will be pecked to death by the healthy chickens. This is what I watched happen as William was picked and pecked on until he was emotionally at the point of death. This once popular sophomore did not have a single friend now. No one would return his phone calls. Desperate for a friend, he would look through his phone list for someone to talk to. One after the other, his pre -TBI friends would say, “Hey, I gotta go, I’ll call you later,” but never call back. I would watch as he looked at his phone waiting for a call that would never come.
Then came a gift from God, three real friends: Sara, Austin, and Molly. Sara could understand William’s pain because she had felt the same pain of rejection. Austin and Molly had both experienced rejection in different ways. One thing they had in common was a love and admiration for William.
Sara especially knew how it feels to be pecked at by those who you think will accept and love you for who you are. She needed someone to celebrate her life as much as William needed someone to celebrate his.
God sent these three into our life as an answer to prayer. Little did we know at the time what an impact they would make on the next phase of William’s recovery, freedom from the fear of rejection. They saw his weaknesses, but did not make fun of him. They heard him struggle for the right words, but did not get impatient. They just waited patiently until he got the words out. If he said, “I don’t know”, Sara was gifted with an ability to pull out of him what he was trying to say by simply replying, “Yes, Will, you do know.” She would listen to him struggle with second-guessing a decision, but did not make fun. She would simply encourage him to see that his first decision was the right one.
What we observed was incredible. The unconditional love and acceptance of these three friends set him free from rejection. After three or four weeks we saw a noticeable change in his voice tone, ability to interact in conversation, and a tremendous change in his confidence. I believe the interaction with these three friends on a daily basis activated and awakened an area of his brain that therapy could not touch. This freedom from rejection is available when you have real friends who know how to love and accept you with God’s love. When we allow God’s love to flow through us, it produces change in others, regardless of their condition.
Find a Real Friend:
1. A person who has unconditional acceptance
2. A person who you respect and does not intimidate you
3. A person who has unconditional love, regardless of differences
4. A person who can cheer you up and not drag you down
5. A person who is not needy; needing attention for themselves
6. A person who is not selfish or self-centered
7. A person who gives without requiring something in return
8. A person who knows Jesus and has a personal relationship with Him
Thank you God, “That Your Love Never Fails…”(1 Corinthians 13:8).
Living Waters Ministry
William's Story
Williams’ Story
By Denise Boggs, mother of TBI survivor.
On March 26th of 2005, while traveling from North Carolina to Florida, our two children, Casey and William, and I were hit by an 18-wheeler. We were crossing a four-lane road when the truck t-boned our car at a speed of 60 mph. The Semi struck our SUV right behind William’s seat.
Paramedics miraculously arrived in two minutes, not expecting survivors from such a horrible impact. A miracle began to unfold when the Paramedics arrived and found Casey alive. She pleaded with them, “Please help my brother, he isn’t breathing.” They found William in the back seat, in a pool of blood, not breathing.
The paramedics quickly preformed an emergency tracheotomy and airlifted William to SHANDS trauma center in Jacksonville, Florida. William arrived at the hospital in a coma and was put on full life support. Due to the impact, William suffered a traumatic brain injury and several strokes. The doctors in the trauma center did not give us much hope of William coming out of the coma with so much damage to his brain. The impact was so great from the thousands of pounds of pressure, that they suspected the brain was severed from the brain stem. They said that if he did live, he would be remain in a vegetative state or have a very low quality of life at best.
As you can imagine, my husband and I were devastated at the report. We had been given very little hope. But we know a God that works miracles. Our family and friends began to support us in prayer, believing God for a miracle. As thousands across the country came into agreement for a miracle, we had a front row seat as God performed it. On April 19th of 2005, William was transported by medical plane to Charlotte Rehabilitation Center, in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Now let’s let William talk...
The first thing I remember was waking up and realizing something was wrong. I couldn’t talk or move. I was told I was in Charlotte Rehab in Charlotte, North Carolina, but I didn’t understand that I had a traumatic brain injury. The first thing I remember seeing was a huge green tree out the window of my hospital room and my family all around me. They comforted me and kept telling me not to be afraid, that God was taking care of me.
Over the next few weeks, I slowly began moving. I went from not being able to move my left leg at all, to moving my toes, then my foot, and then my leg. As I sat in my wheelchair in the hall of the hospital, watching others being pushed in their wheelchairs, I asked God to help me walk again. Weeks went by and I could feel something happening inside my body. I was gaining strength each day and able to stand up with my nurse, or parents holding me, and then I took my first step. I learned, step by step, with the help of my therapist, Ms. Shana. I didn’t understand then why I had forgotten how to walk. Once I progressed to the stage of learning to walk with a cane, I decided my goal was to walk out of Charlotte Rehab when I was discharged. The day finally came for me to go home; it had been 72 days since our accident. Praise God, I was finally discharged. It was obvious He heard my prayer, because that day I was able to walk out the door of the Rehab.
But, God did not stop there working in my life. After I got home, I began family and outpatient therapy. My family worked with me almost non-stop, every day. It seemed as if everything we did was turned into some type of therapy. In some ways it was like waking up from a long dream and trying to figure out why life had changed while I was sleeping. But, as I became more aware of what had happened to me and saw how God was healing me, my faith grew stronger and stronger and I asked Him to help me run again. Before the accident I was training as a cross country runner, and the day before we left on our trip I ran seven miles. So it became my goal to run cross-country.
Month after month, as my speech, motor skills, and walking all continued improving, I was encouraged, but I still couldn’t run. I was determined not to give up. I kept working and believing God would help me reach my goal. My short steps and walking kept improving. Then one day, I was able to walk without assistance to the end of our hall. My family cheered me on, worked with me, and encouraged me to keep going, believing that God would rebuild my strength so I could run someday.
I kept working on building my strength through good nutrition, and food for my brain cells. I exercised both my body and my brain daily. My brain had to be trained and exercised. My mom would say, “We have to train your brain, tell your brain to move your arm.”
After many months of PT, OT, ST therapy sessions as well as training and feeding my brain, I relearned many of the basic things. But, when I left Charlotte Rehab, I was only on an elementary level of understanding in many classes, even though I was a freshman in High School. The cognitive therapist said I would need special classes, and would not be able to return to my grade level. But, in the fall of 2005, I returned to my Christian School, and with assistance and limited classes, I was able to begin my sophomore year of High School.
After a year of hard work, I was able to jog. I would stumble and fall, but I would just get back up and keep going. God kept restoring me and I was able to join the cross-country team in my junior year of high school. On my first cross-country meet I placed 11th out of 60 runners.
My senior year was very hard, but I did well and graduated! When I spoke at my graduation ceremony, I told my class that life will be full of obstacles; it is how you face these obstacles that determine the outcome. I gave God all the glory for how He had helped me to face my obstacles and overcome them. I now know more than ever, that He has a great plan and a purpose for my life. I want the rest of my life to be an encouragement to others with brain injuries. I want to tell as many people as I can, “Never give up, trust in God.”
William Boggs
By Denise Boggs, mother of TBI survivor.
On March 26th of 2005, while traveling from North Carolina to Florida, our two children, Casey and William, and I were hit by an 18-wheeler. We were crossing a four-lane road when the truck t-boned our car at a speed of 60 mph. The Semi struck our SUV right behind William’s seat.
Paramedics miraculously arrived in two minutes, not expecting survivors from such a horrible impact. A miracle began to unfold when the Paramedics arrived and found Casey alive. She pleaded with them, “Please help my brother, he isn’t breathing.” They found William in the back seat, in a pool of blood, not breathing.
The paramedics quickly preformed an emergency tracheotomy and airlifted William to SHANDS trauma center in Jacksonville, Florida. William arrived at the hospital in a coma and was put on full life support. Due to the impact, William suffered a traumatic brain injury and several strokes. The doctors in the trauma center did not give us much hope of William coming out of the coma with so much damage to his brain. The impact was so great from the thousands of pounds of pressure, that they suspected the brain was severed from the brain stem. They said that if he did live, he would be remain in a vegetative state or have a very low quality of life at best.
As you can imagine, my husband and I were devastated at the report. We had been given very little hope. But we know a God that works miracles. Our family and friends began to support us in prayer, believing God for a miracle. As thousands across the country came into agreement for a miracle, we had a front row seat as God performed it. On April 19th of 2005, William was transported by medical plane to Charlotte Rehabilitation Center, in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Now let’s let William talk...
The first thing I remember was waking up and realizing something was wrong. I couldn’t talk or move. I was told I was in Charlotte Rehab in Charlotte, North Carolina, but I didn’t understand that I had a traumatic brain injury. The first thing I remember seeing was a huge green tree out the window of my hospital room and my family all around me. They comforted me and kept telling me not to be afraid, that God was taking care of me.
Over the next few weeks, I slowly began moving. I went from not being able to move my left leg at all, to moving my toes, then my foot, and then my leg. As I sat in my wheelchair in the hall of the hospital, watching others being pushed in their wheelchairs, I asked God to help me walk again. Weeks went by and I could feel something happening inside my body. I was gaining strength each day and able to stand up with my nurse, or parents holding me, and then I took my first step. I learned, step by step, with the help of my therapist, Ms. Shana. I didn’t understand then why I had forgotten how to walk. Once I progressed to the stage of learning to walk with a cane, I decided my goal was to walk out of Charlotte Rehab when I was discharged. The day finally came for me to go home; it had been 72 days since our accident. Praise God, I was finally discharged. It was obvious He heard my prayer, because that day I was able to walk out the door of the Rehab.
But, God did not stop there working in my life. After I got home, I began family and outpatient therapy. My family worked with me almost non-stop, every day. It seemed as if everything we did was turned into some type of therapy. In some ways it was like waking up from a long dream and trying to figure out why life had changed while I was sleeping. But, as I became more aware of what had happened to me and saw how God was healing me, my faith grew stronger and stronger and I asked Him to help me run again. Before the accident I was training as a cross country runner, and the day before we left on our trip I ran seven miles. So it became my goal to run cross-country.
Month after month, as my speech, motor skills, and walking all continued improving, I was encouraged, but I still couldn’t run. I was determined not to give up. I kept working and believing God would help me reach my goal. My short steps and walking kept improving. Then one day, I was able to walk without assistance to the end of our hall. My family cheered me on, worked with me, and encouraged me to keep going, believing that God would rebuild my strength so I could run someday.
I kept working on building my strength through good nutrition, and food for my brain cells. I exercised both my body and my brain daily. My brain had to be trained and exercised. My mom would say, “We have to train your brain, tell your brain to move your arm.”
After many months of PT, OT, ST therapy sessions as well as training and feeding my brain, I relearned many of the basic things. But, when I left Charlotte Rehab, I was only on an elementary level of understanding in many classes, even though I was a freshman in High School. The cognitive therapist said I would need special classes, and would not be able to return to my grade level. But, in the fall of 2005, I returned to my Christian School, and with assistance and limited classes, I was able to begin my sophomore year of High School.
After a year of hard work, I was able to jog. I would stumble and fall, but I would just get back up and keep going. God kept restoring me and I was able to join the cross-country team in my junior year of high school. On my first cross-country meet I placed 11th out of 60 runners.
My senior year was very hard, but I did well and graduated! When I spoke at my graduation ceremony, I told my class that life will be full of obstacles; it is how you face these obstacles that determine the outcome. I gave God all the glory for how He had helped me to face my obstacles and overcome them. I now know more than ever, that He has a great plan and a purpose for my life. I want the rest of my life to be an encouragement to others with brain injuries. I want to tell as many people as I can, “Never give up, trust in God.”
William Boggs
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